I can hardly believe I haven't posted my adoption announcement yet! I'm due on: July 20th at 2:00pm and it's a girl! She's 5 weeks from being 17 yrs old. She is an avid reader and she LOVES Michael Jackson! This week she got her learners permit! We figured out just today that it will be 9 months and 1 day since she moved in with me, that the adoption will take place. I ordered the 'it's a girl' announcements and they should be here within 2 weeks. Watch your mail! One benefit I'm really looking forward to after the adoption, is POSTING PICTURES! We're not allowed to do that while our kids are still in foster care...it's a safety/confidentiality issue.
My parents are thrilled to be able to dote on another grand daughter! My brother is going to be an 'uncle' for the first time. I turned 50 last week and I'm going to be a mother for the first time!
My 'daughter-to-be' wants to invite her birth mom to our adoption. I hope she'll come. As long as she remains healthy, she can be as active a part in our life as my (our) daughter wants her to be.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
One Step Closer to Oprah...
I've emailed the Oprah people at least twice in the past 2 years about an amazing story of two ladies; in the hopes they'd be guests and share their story. I also emailed the editor of Wasatch Woman magazine in August 2009. Last week she called me and wanted to know more about the idea I had for their article "Families That Work" to come out this coming August. After a couple of calls and emails the appointment was set up to meet with A. and S. (the two ladies who share their story of forgivenes and co-parenting after beating the odds of hate and anger). The writer assigned is named Jamie, she's a freelance writer.
We're all excited to see the story, even tho' it was only allocated 600 words. I asked her to ask her editor for another 600, to really do the story some justice. We'll see. I told her I also planned to send her story to Oprah, and to "make it good!"
I've got the third draft of a screenplay completed (telling this same story) but I'm stuck. I have no literary agent and don't know where to proceed from here. Maybe the Wasatch Woman article will get us one step closer to BIG TIME publicity! Maybe one of you readers will be able to steer me in the right direction?
We're all excited to see the story, even tho' it was only allocated 600 words. I asked her to ask her editor for another 600, to really do the story some justice. We'll see. I told her I also planned to send her story to Oprah, and to "make it good!"
I've got the third draft of a screenplay completed (telling this same story) but I'm stuck. I have no literary agent and don't know where to proceed from here. Maybe the Wasatch Woman article will get us one step closer to BIG TIME publicity! Maybe one of you readers will be able to steer me in the right direction?
Thursday, June 3, 2010
The Inner Conflict of Name Changing at Adoption
My most recent placement is a 15 yr old girl, 1/2 polynesian 1/2 white. She has not had a lot of extended family interaction in the past couple of years. She moved into my home the first week of May (1 month today, actually!) and we've visited her mom 4 times, and her dad 2x...she's played a family football game and been to a big brothers high school graduation party.
She was moved to my home specifically to be adopted because for the past 4 years no one else would legally commit to her. I'm committing. So, she talks to me now and then about not wanting to change her last name to mine, because hers is Samoan...it is her culture; she LOOKS LIKE her last name. And I would say to her, "okay, that's fine. There's no law that says you HAVE TO take my last name when I adopt you."
A few nights ago, when she returned from a family football game, she said, "it felt so good to be surrounded by my family, I thought 'this is my family'". I could feel the comfort in her voice. Upon my daughters return, I met an Auntie of hers, a woman who obviously loves and adores my girl...I welcomed her into our home and we visited a while. She almost was crying because I trusted her to take my girl for a visit and trusted her to bring her back. Sometimes you just get a feeling about people, dontcha? This lady is the goods. She looks you in the eye when she talks to you, she DID pick up and drop off on time. I am more apt to say 'sure, take her again!' when the opportunity arises. And the cousins!!! So many cousins!!! LOL!
Last night she told me she would like to hyphenate our two names when it comes time to be adopted, to keep her own and to add mine. I asked her why she wants to do that and she said, 'i want to feel like I belong to your family'. Wow...that was brave and insightful of her. I told her whatever she decides, I'll support.
It also will not be surprising if we have this conversation 15 more times before mid-November...which is when we'd like to finalize the adoption. I can not imagine what I would have felt when I was 15 and had a decision like this in front of me. My girls are amazing survivors...tough little gals with big hearts and big conflicts...'which family do I belong to?' 'can I belong to more than one?'
She was moved to my home specifically to be adopted because for the past 4 years no one else would legally commit to her. I'm committing. So, she talks to me now and then about not wanting to change her last name to mine, because hers is Samoan...it is her culture; she LOOKS LIKE her last name. And I would say to her, "okay, that's fine. There's no law that says you HAVE TO take my last name when I adopt you."
A few nights ago, when she returned from a family football game, she said, "it felt so good to be surrounded by my family, I thought 'this is my family'". I could feel the comfort in her voice. Upon my daughters return, I met an Auntie of hers, a woman who obviously loves and adores my girl...I welcomed her into our home and we visited a while. She almost was crying because I trusted her to take my girl for a visit and trusted her to bring her back. Sometimes you just get a feeling about people, dontcha? This lady is the goods. She looks you in the eye when she talks to you, she DID pick up and drop off on time. I am more apt to say 'sure, take her again!' when the opportunity arises. And the cousins!!! So many cousins!!! LOL!
Last night she told me she would like to hyphenate our two names when it comes time to be adopted, to keep her own and to add mine. I asked her why she wants to do that and she said, 'i want to feel like I belong to your family'. Wow...that was brave and insightful of her. I told her whatever she decides, I'll support.
It also will not be surprising if we have this conversation 15 more times before mid-November...which is when we'd like to finalize the adoption. I can not imagine what I would have felt when I was 15 and had a decision like this in front of me. My girls are amazing survivors...tough little gals with big hearts and big conflicts...'which family do I belong to?' 'can I belong to more than one?'
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