TRUST YOUR MOTHER

A week ago the four of us went to meet our new Primary Care Physician. My 17 yr old daughter, Aubrianna, wanted a female doctor and didn't want to go to her pediatrician anymore. I found someone I thought she'd like. I made appointments for three of us to get our FLU shots, two of them to get their Gardasil shot, and all of us to meet the doctor.

As my 11 yr old (Aubri's youngest sibling) sat on the paper covered exam bed, her anxiety began to grow. She began to whine and hold/cover her upper arms with her own hands. I thought she was kidding. I may even have verbally reprimanded her. But as the nurse approached my youngest girl with the needle, Aubri stood up and stood right in front of her little sister. She leaned in and they touched foreheads. Aubri held her hands and told her to "just look at me, it'll be over in a minute". Even though her sister whined and tried to pull away from the nurse, Aubrianna knew just what to do. She was comforting and attentive and motherly. I, on the other hand, sat and watched and soaked it in. Yes, I was a little embarassed that I didn't think to do that. But my embarassment turned to awe as I saw my daughter (who has been her sisters mom for close to 11 years) nurture and calm her sister.

I've heard many caseworkers and even therapists recommend that siblings be separated if there are 'parenting issues' or if one of the children is 'parentified'. They say things like, 'it's in the oldest childs best interest', 'it will give them a chance to be a kid'. But my oldest daughter has only lived with me a year and a day...the trust is growing, but it's not at it's pinacle yet. She has a decade more parenting experience than I do (sadly for both of us) and her little sister TRUSTS her. That is the real point, isn't it?

When I earn the trust of my girls, I will be earning the title of MOTHER. As I learn the skills of mothering, I will earn the title of MOM. Oh, yeah...

I'm so proud....

The past two nights my girls have shared parts of their stories with both 'potential' foster parents (those still in training and waiting for their background checks) and tonight, with licensed foster parents. They share funny stories about things happening in our lives and they share the sad, scary and abusive stuff that happened to them before they came into states custody, as well as the culture-shocky experiences as they transitioned from home to home.
Why did these girls come to my home? We have such an interesting history which goes back five years. Why are their parents willing to have a relationship with me? Why is it getting so comfortable between us all? What does God have planned for us?
My girls are SURVIVORS! Every child who enters the foster care system has survived abuse and neglect serious enough to be removed from their caregivers. Yet they are blessed with talents, intelligence, wisdom, articulate expression, humor and many other gifts. I love them today more than I did yesterday; and I can hardly wait till tomorrow!