It's a Girl!

I can hardly believe I haven't posted my adoption announcement yet! I'm due on: July 20th at 2:00pm and it's a girl! She's 5 weeks from being 17 yrs old. She is an avid reader and she LOVES Michael Jackson! This week she got her learners permit! We figured out just today that it will be 9 months and 1 day since she moved in with me, that the adoption will take place. I ordered the 'it's a girl' announcements and they should be here within 2 weeks. Watch your mail! One benefit I'm really looking forward to after the adoption, is POSTING PICTURES! We're not allowed to do that while our kids are still in foster care...it's a safety/confidentiality issue.

My parents are thrilled to be able to dote on another grand daughter! My brother is going to be an 'uncle' for the first time. I turned 50 last week and I'm going to be a mother for the first time!

My 'daughter-to-be' wants to invite her birth mom to our adoption. I hope she'll come. As long as she remains healthy, she can be as active a part in our life as my (our) daughter wants her to be.

One Step Closer to Oprah...

I've emailed the Oprah people at least twice in the past 2 years about an amazing story of two ladies; in the hopes they'd be guests and share their story. I also emailed the editor of Wasatch Woman magazine in August 2009. Last week she called me and wanted to know more about the idea I had for their article "Families That Work" to come out this coming August. After a couple of calls and emails the appointment was set up to meet with A. and S. (the two ladies who share their story of forgivenes and co-parenting after beating the odds of hate and anger). The writer assigned is named Jamie, she's a freelance writer.

We're all excited to see the story, even tho' it was only allocated 600 words. I asked her to ask her editor for another 600, to really do the story some justice. We'll see. I told her I also planned to send her story to Oprah, and to "make it good!"

I've got the third draft of a screenplay completed (telling this same story) but I'm stuck. I have no literary agent and don't know where to proceed from here. Maybe the Wasatch Woman article will get us one step closer to BIG TIME publicity! Maybe one of you readers will be able to steer me in the right direction?

The Inner Conflict of Name Changing at Adoption

My most recent placement is a 15 yr old girl, 1/2 polynesian 1/2 white. She has not had a lot of extended family interaction in the past couple of years. She moved into my home the first week of May (1 month today, actually!) and we've visited her mom 4 times, and her dad 2x...she's played a family football game and been to a big brothers high school graduation party.

She was moved to my home specifically to be adopted because for the past 4 years no one else would legally commit to her. I'm committing. So, she talks to me now and then about not wanting to change her last name to mine, because hers is Samoan...it is her culture; she LOOKS LIKE her last name. And I would say to her, "okay, that's fine. There's no law that says you HAVE TO take my last name when I adopt you."

A few nights ago, when she returned from a family football game, she said, "it felt so good to be surrounded by my family, I thought 'this is my family'". I could feel the comfort in her voice. Upon my daughters return, I met an Auntie of hers, a woman who obviously loves and adores my girl...I welcomed her into our home and we visited a while. She almost was crying because I trusted her to take my girl for a visit and trusted her to bring her back. Sometimes you just get a feeling about people, dontcha? This lady is the goods. She looks you in the eye when she talks to you, she DID pick up and drop off on time. I am more apt to say 'sure, take her again!' when the opportunity arises. And the cousins!!! So many cousins!!! LOL!

Last night she told me she would like to hyphenate our two names when it comes time to be adopted, to keep her own and to add mine. I asked her why she wants to do that and she said, 'i want to feel like I belong to your family'. Wow...that was brave and insightful of her. I told her whatever she decides, I'll support.

It also will not be surprising if we have this conversation 15 more times before mid-November...which is when we'd like to finalize the adoption. I can not imagine what I would have felt when I was 15 and had a decision like this in front of me. My girls are amazing survivors...tough little gals with big hearts and big conflicts...'which family do I belong to?' 'can I belong to more than one?'

A Truely Family Friendly Employer

Just a public thank you to my immediate boss, Mick, and our CEO, Kelly for approving my request to work from home during June, July and August while 'my girls' are out of school. This will allow me to not only be a more hands-on parent for them, but to do some of the many other mom-duties needed during the summer ("can you take us to the pool today?", "we want to go to the library!", "I don't want to ride my bike to work today..." and on and on, right?)

Thank you UTAH FOSTER CARE FOUNDATION for your flexibility with my single parenting of these great girls!

OMG- She Really Can Sing!!

The newest addition to our family is 15 yrs old. She has been in Bella Voce (an advanced choir group)at Orem Jr High (in Utah) her 9th grade year. She wanted to audition for the Advanced Women's choir at her new high school. We met the Provo High choir teacher (Mrs Garrett) at an end-of-year choir BBQ last week. Yesterday, 5-25-10 at 4:20p she auditioned and was accepted as an alto, in that Advanced Women's choir! I was so proud of her for her bravery and confidence (both of which she argues with me that she has none of...). So, less than a minute after returning to my truck as we're pulling out of the high school parking lot, she asks, "Can I call my mom?" I said, handing her my cell phone, 'of course you can!'.

Then she shared the news with her mom...she excitedly shared the play-by-play of her audition, ending with, "And she told me right there that: I'm IN!!" then she called 'grandma' (my mom), repeating almost verbatim the first story. During both calls she had a big smile on her face (which I interpreted as the praise from both of these great ladies).

I wish I had the money to rent a piano for her. She plays and writes songs besides being a singer. AND...she wants to try out for softball and volleyball next fall! Why would anyone NOT want to foster/adopt a teen??

Now I'm Having A Good Day!

It was the culmination of a season of Celebrity-Apprentice-watching with my 16 yr old. The contest ended last Sunday night with a 2 hr live showing, hosted by 'the Donald'...about 10pm. And all season we were rooting for one of 3 singer celebrities. Our man (Brett Michaels) WON! And the first words out of her mouth were: YES! (visualize a fist pump here!) Now, I'm having a good day!! And I just had to laugh to myself. We had already had a really fun Sunday...but when Brett won Celebrity Apprentice, that was the icing on her Sunday cake! Teens are awesome, aren't they?

A New Addition...

She is 15years old. She is experiencing grief and loss...as she transitions from what was promised to be an adoptive, forever family...but turned into just another pit stop on the way to my home. She is angry: she is also in an anger management group for about 6 weeks...3 days a week. I don't blame her for feeling angry...she's been rejected again. And from what she's told me, she's been in a strict living environment, run by a German grandmother, not really by the foster mom.

As I dropped her off at school one day this week, I said, 'see you at quattro!", she said, 'why do you speak spanish, you're white?!"...with a little animosity. Then later, when I was picking her up from anger mgmt group, as she got into the truck, I pointed out the sneakers of one of the girls and said, "i love those sneakers!" and she said, 'what kind of people look at other people's feet?" She is angry with the system, her caseworker, her last foster mom who wouldn't give her a forever home, and with me for offering to give her a forever home. This little gal is conflicted. I really feel for her.

It is a prayer of mine that I will be a positive influence in her life. I will be a grafted-in branch of her family tree. I will support her relationships with her siblings and her birth parents, as long as it's safe, and I can almost assure safety in any visit I am supervising. Not that I am fool-proof, but I understand that safety is relative, especially in regards to relatives.

I love teenagers! God bless teenagers! Especially the ones in my house....