Available Supports to Utah Foster Parents

Even though confidentiality can be an emotional burden, it is first and foremost a necessity to protect the children and the families DCFS serves. As a new foster parent I am finding that I need a safe venting mechanism...but I can not go to my typical resources because they are not 'cleared' . So, this morning I had the chance to tell my kids' therapist a little of my woes and an update on how the kids are doing in my home. A few nights ago I expressed my doubts and insecurities during a class, as an example of 'grief and loss and attachment'....which was the topic being covered that night. Afterwards, I thanked my class for my '3 minute therapy session' and they all laughed. But they gave me a huge lift with their comments and 'atta-girls' which I was needing and so appreciative of.

I have a couple of close friends who I would love to vent to, but I've signed a Confidentiality agreement and that is prohibited if I want to keep my license, and I do! So, what else is offered to me by DCFS to help keep a newbie parent like me SANE? Here are a few things:

1- use your RFC (Resource Family Consultant); they are social workers at DCFS assigned to support the placement

2-use the child's therapist as a support (minimally, but if you talk to them weekly they'll get another perspective of how things are going in the home)

3- other foster parents who may have the sibs of the kids in your home (in my case I have 2-3 other foster parents I can talk to, vent with, share babysitting or respite days with).

4- UFAFA (pronounced "You-fah-fah") it's the Utah Foster Adoptive Family Association and the state rep is Stephanie Ellis (stephanieellis6@msn.com) . Stephanie has a decade or more of foster care experience and can really be an advocate when you feel lost, angry, or burned out.

5- ATTEND INSERVICE TRAININGS with your CLUSTER!! Because you need 12 hrs a year of continued training to keep your foster parent license current, it is wise to attend a few of these trainings each year. You will get to know those in your cluster (your geographical area, for the most part)...that means there may be other foster parents who are more experienced than you who have 'been there' and can talk you off the ledge :) when you need it. And it builds a commraderie when you hang out with others who are doing the same type of generous, self-less exhausting, work which you're doing.

6- DCFS has partnered with others in the community to preserve and nurture their resource families (aka: foster families). But along with that, at least in the Western Region of Utah, is something called the Foster Care Council. It was created to assist foster families with any problems they have (including the opportunity to VENT; especially if other resources haven't been useful). But either word hasn't gone out about it's availability very well, or foster parents are afraid to use it thinking they may be 'black listed' (which would NOT happen, this counsel is a SAFE place) for complaining. Appointments can be made to be on the agenda monthly, by calling the front desk (801-374-7005, then press 1).

7- And lastly, a pilot program is being re-visited, tentatively a Foster Parent Mentor Program, which will link an experienced foster parent with a newly licensed foster parent to help them through the legal maze, the acronyms, and the venting sessions (among other things)! It's not yet up and running, but hopefully it will be soon. It's a great idea and it doesn't surprise me at all that DCFS is working to get this going.

With that said, foster care in Utah is still run by a state government agency (we are not privatized) and things (like programs) take time to build correctly, to manage well, to collect data on, and to adapt when adaption is needed. And all of those things take money and money is in short supply thanks to our Utah legislatures who cut funding to support human services. We just need to recruit a couple of legislatures to be foster parents and we'd have an ally for life. Hmmmmm, there's a challenge for someone to take on.... :)