Even though confidentiality can be an emotional burden, it is first and foremost a necessity to protect the children and the families DCFS serves. As a new foster parent I am finding that I need a safe venting mechanism...but I can not go to my typical resources because they are not 'cleared' . So, this morning I had the chance to tell my kids' therapist a little of my woes and an update on how the kids are doing in my home. A few nights ago I expressed my doubts and insecurities during a class, as an example of 'grief and loss and attachment'....which was the topic being covered that night. Afterwards, I thanked my class for my '3 minute therapy session' and they all laughed. But they gave me a huge lift with their comments and 'atta-girls' which I was needing and so appreciative of.
I have a couple of close friends who I would love to vent to, but I've signed a Confidentiality agreement and that is prohibited if I want to keep my license, and I do! So, what else is offered to me by DCFS to help keep a newbie parent like me SANE? Here are a few things:
1- use your RFC (Resource Family Consultant); they are social workers at DCFS assigned to support the placement
2-use the child's therapist as a support (minimally, but if you talk to them weekly they'll get another perspective of how things are going in the home)
3- other foster parents who may have the sibs of the kids in your home (in my case I have 2-3 other foster parents I can talk to, vent with, share babysitting or respite days with).
4- UFAFA (pronounced "You-fah-fah") it's the Utah Foster Adoptive Family Association and the state rep is Stephanie Ellis (stephanieellis6@msn.com) . Stephanie has a decade or more of foster care experience and can really be an advocate when you feel lost, angry, or burned out.
5- ATTEND INSERVICE TRAININGS with your CLUSTER!! Because you need 12 hrs a year of continued training to keep your foster parent license current, it is wise to attend a few of these trainings each year. You will get to know those in your cluster (your geographical area, for the most part)...that means there may be other foster parents who are more experienced than you who have 'been there' and can talk you off the ledge :) when you need it. And it builds a commraderie when you hang out with others who are doing the same type of generous, self-less exhausting, work which you're doing.
6- DCFS has partnered with others in the community to preserve and nurture their resource families (aka: foster families). But along with that, at least in the Western Region of Utah, is something called the Foster Care Council. It was created to assist foster families with any problems they have (including the opportunity to VENT; especially if other resources haven't been useful). But either word hasn't gone out about it's availability very well, or foster parents are afraid to use it thinking they may be 'black listed' (which would NOT happen, this counsel is a SAFE place) for complaining. Appointments can be made to be on the agenda monthly, by calling the front desk (801-374-7005, then press 1).
7- And lastly, a pilot program is being re-visited, tentatively a Foster Parent Mentor Program, which will link an experienced foster parent with a newly licensed foster parent to help them through the legal maze, the acronyms, and the venting sessions (among other things)! It's not yet up and running, but hopefully it will be soon. It's a great idea and it doesn't surprise me at all that DCFS is working to get this going.
With that said, foster care in Utah is still run by a state government agency (we are not privatized) and things (like programs) take time to build correctly, to manage well, to collect data on, and to adapt when adaption is needed. And all of those things take money and money is in short supply thanks to our Utah legislatures who cut funding to support human services. We just need to recruit a couple of legislatures to be foster parents and we'd have an ally for life. Hmmmmm, there's a challenge for someone to take on.... :)
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Reimbursement Rates
Foster Parents in Utah who take kids from DCFS are reimbursed (not 'paid') by DCFS each month. The amount varies from $14 a day on up to about $24 a day, and it all depends on the age of the child and their behaviors.
DCFS uses a 3 page form called the Level of Care form to determine the behaviors of the child. The behaviors to be reviewed are from the previous 6 months. This form should be reviewed about every six months to determine how the child is progressing in the foster home. The levels are titled "Basic" "Specialized" and "Structured". ..the age breakdown in each level is 0-11, 12-15 and 16+...so there are three levels and three age categories in each level.
There is also something called "Medically Fragile", which is for kids with serious medical needs(or therapeutic issues in some cases). Examples of medical needs might be a child who is a burn victim and needs regular trips to the UofU burn unit to care for the wounds, or a child who has spina bifida, heart monitors or oxygen for babies born addicted to drugs...these things most likely will qualify a child for the 'medically fragile' code which means $10 a day more than whatever reimbursemet rate they initially qualify for. IE: If you get a baby who was born addicted to drugs, they fall within Level 1 = Basic = $14 a day, plus medically fragile = $10 a day for a total of $24 a day for the care of this child.
There is special training by the nurse/hospital caring for this child which the foster parents will be expected and encouraged to learn before they are released from the hospital. Afterall, knowing how to run a feeding tube, or heart monitor is not something you learn as you go along!
Since these reimbursements are not 'payments', they are not taxed. So if you have a Basic Level child at $14 a day, for 30 days you'll get a check for $420 a month, no taxes deducted. That covers their room, board, allowance if you offer it, hair cuts, other ammenities (basic hygiene things). Now, the one thing that MUST BE DEDUCTED FROM THAT $420 is $41 for new clothing every month. Please talk to your tax preparer for your year end tax questions.
If you have further questions about this short discussion, ask me in 'comments' and I'll get back with you on the details as soon as possible.
09/09/09 My first day as a foster parent!
Today I rec'd a call asking me to consider a sibling set of 2 girls, ages 7 and 12. I met them today I showed them my house and we drove by the schools they'll attend...and they will move in after school tomorrow!
Because of confidentiality I can not discuss any identifying information; or the issues that brought them into DCFS custody. Suffice it to say I will be working reunification with a parent and when the judge say's he/she has met minimum requirements of the goals they've set with DCFS, that's when the girls will go home. So the first day of my full time, temporary parenting experience is on 09/09/09!! Pretty cool.
Because of confidentiality I can not discuss any identifying information; or the issues that brought them into DCFS custody. Suffice it to say I will be working reunification with a parent and when the judge say's he/she has met minimum requirements of the goals they've set with DCFS, that's when the girls will go home. So the first day of my full time, temporary parenting experience is on 09/09/09!! Pretty cool.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Well Traineed Staff: Example
If you read the post just before this one, you probably sensed my angst re: having to say 'no' to a placement; a young girl. I just got off the phone with the caseworker, I'll call her Rachel. This is basicially how the call went:
R- So, tell me how the meeting went last night.
N- Well, Rachel, I don't think I'm the best placement for this gal.
R- Really? Why?
N- The program she will be a part of (and needs!) is very intense and more structure than I want in my home. I want more of a relationship building experience than a control-focused home.
R-Oh, Nancy, i totally understand! I would too. (here she shared her point of view of the newest research and some of the theories of a book called "Beyond Consequences...", which I also have read)
N- Thank you so much for understanding and supporting me, Rachel.
R- Oh, of course! I am just glad that you know yourself well enough, and that you know how the system works so you can make the best choices for your home. (all paraphrased of course)
N- Think of me again in the future.
R- I definitely will.
Yes, this is a diluted version, but it is the gist of a phone call with an educated, clinical Social Worker. She not only validated my feelings, but she spoke to me with kindness, respect and as a peer. That was so appreciated. I presumed that phone call would be hard to have, but it wasn't. This 'Rachel' worker, is a keeper. You too can have the support of DCFS if you hold to your value system and are honest with them. When I make a commitment to take a child into my home, I will be commiting to that child until they go home; they will not be kicked out because they punch a hole in a wall, or steal from me, or lie to me, or skip school, or get pregnant, or run away. I will hang in there with them...because I am the trained adult, because I believe in forever families and because I've seen people change and I have faith in people.
R- So, tell me how the meeting went last night.
N- Well, Rachel, I don't think I'm the best placement for this gal.
R- Really? Why?
N- The program she will be a part of (and needs!) is very intense and more structure than I want in my home. I want more of a relationship building experience than a control-focused home.
R-Oh, Nancy, i totally understand! I would too. (here she shared her point of view of the newest research and some of the theories of a book called "Beyond Consequences...", which I also have read)
N- Thank you so much for understanding and supporting me, Rachel.
R- Oh, of course! I am just glad that you know yourself well enough, and that you know how the system works so you can make the best choices for your home. (all paraphrased of course)
N- Think of me again in the future.
R- I definitely will.
Yes, this is a diluted version, but it is the gist of a phone call with an educated, clinical Social Worker. She not only validated my feelings, but she spoke to me with kindness, respect and as a peer. That was so appreciated. I presumed that phone call would be hard to have, but it wasn't. This 'Rachel' worker, is a keeper. You too can have the support of DCFS if you hold to your value system and are honest with them. When I make a commitment to take a child into my home, I will be commiting to that child until they go home; they will not be kicked out because they punch a hole in a wall, or steal from me, or lie to me, or skip school, or get pregnant, or run away. I will hang in there with them...because I am the trained adult, because I believe in forever families and because I've seen people change and I have faith in people.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Knowing Your Limits: Saying 'No'
5:30p tonight I met with three therapists and the birth parents of a potential placement. We spoke about the girls needs and what I needed to do to prepare my home and myself for her to move in. I needed to install alarms on her bedroom window and door. I needed to learn her therapeutic program which consisted of strict levels; therapeutic and behavioral; which included a type of token system. I began to tell them that I was willing to learn; yet I felt a knot in my stomach which notified me of my dishonesty.
As I drove away from the meeting tonight I was pretty sure I was going to call the caseworker and say, 'this is not the best fit'. So many thoughts were racing in my head. Thoughts like, "but they picked you because of your experience", and "you live in the right city so this girl can get to the right school program" and "they're counting on you" and "they're your friends". Then I thought STOP! If I'm going to agree to do foster care, it has to be right for the child and the right thing for me. I teach potential foster families that they have the right to do what is best for their family; they don't have to accept every child that DCFS calls them about; they won't be black listed or red-flagged if they decide a certain child or children is not going to work out.
They have to put their excitement about 'parenting' second to the best interest of the child.
This young lady was going to require me to have a level system in my home; such a strict environment that she had to earn the privilege of listening to a radio and having spare change in her pocket. Does that sound harsh to you? It does to me, too. But this girl has serious issues that need serious structure and intense supervision. As this group went on to explain why these things needed to be just so, I began to understand the seriousness of this girls emotional and behavioral issues and the commitment that needed to be made.
Most people who know me would not describe me as 'serious' or 'intense'; I think they would describe me as 'free-spirited', 'sponstaneous' and 'laid back'. The way I desire to run my home is different than this young girl needs. And as much as I hate to disappoint the caseworker (my friend), I will have to call her in the morning to say that my home is not the right fit for this young lady. I can not commit to run my home like is needed for her to be successful.
I am not "therapeutic home" material. I am "foster home" material, through and through. Even as I am typing this I feel an emotional weight being lifted. The weight of 'dishonesty' changing places with the freedom of 'honesty'. I am trained to work with unhealthy adults who abuse or neglect their children. 67% of kids in Utah foster care go home to a birth parent or a family member. I WANT to work with those adults; I want to mentor them and help the kids manage their anger and pain and fears until they get to go home . But if the parents are not successful and the kids can not go home or to other family members, I will be there to offer another kind of permanency.
Wish me luck.
As I drove away from the meeting tonight I was pretty sure I was going to call the caseworker and say, 'this is not the best fit'. So many thoughts were racing in my head. Thoughts like, "but they picked you because of your experience", and "you live in the right city so this girl can get to the right school program" and "they're counting on you" and "they're your friends". Then I thought STOP! If I'm going to agree to do foster care, it has to be right for the child and the right thing for me. I teach potential foster families that they have the right to do what is best for their family; they don't have to accept every child that DCFS calls them about; they won't be black listed or red-flagged if they decide a certain child or children is not going to work out.
They have to put their excitement about 'parenting' second to the best interest of the child.
This young lady was going to require me to have a level system in my home; such a strict environment that she had to earn the privilege of listening to a radio and having spare change in her pocket. Does that sound harsh to you? It does to me, too. But this girl has serious issues that need serious structure and intense supervision. As this group went on to explain why these things needed to be just so, I began to understand the seriousness of this girls emotional and behavioral issues and the commitment that needed to be made.
Most people who know me would not describe me as 'serious' or 'intense'; I think they would describe me as 'free-spirited', 'sponstaneous' and 'laid back'. The way I desire to run my home is different than this young girl needs. And as much as I hate to disappoint the caseworker (my friend), I will have to call her in the morning to say that my home is not the right fit for this young lady. I can not commit to run my home like is needed for her to be successful.
I am not "therapeutic home" material. I am "foster home" material, through and through. Even as I am typing this I feel an emotional weight being lifted. The weight of 'dishonesty' changing places with the freedom of 'honesty'. I am trained to work with unhealthy adults who abuse or neglect their children. 67% of kids in Utah foster care go home to a birth parent or a family member. I WANT to work with those adults; I want to mentor them and help the kids manage their anger and pain and fears until they get to go home . But if the parents are not successful and the kids can not go home or to other family members, I will be there to offer another kind of permanency.
Wish me luck.
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